The Unspoken Rules of Roommates

They aren’t just your roommates, they’re your lifelong Franz. As such, you must abide by the unspoken rules of roommates.

The Rules of Being a Roommate:

  1. Always-on text support

If your roommate is having trouble figuring out how to respond to a potential romantic interest, it is your job to help them devise the perfect response. It is also your job to devise the perfect text if this potential interest should in no way be an interest. Help out your Franz, folks!

  1. Trash is not a jigsaw puzzle…Nor is the kitchen sink.

If the trashcan is full, do not stack your trash like the Leaning Tower of Pisa. Take it out! Similarly, do not endanger your dishes by stacking. If they’re dirty, wash them. If you or your roommate has problems with leaving dirty dishes in the sink, after 24 hours you have every right to relocate those dishes to their bed.

  1. If your roommate falls asleep before plugging in their phone, grab your extra charger and do them a favor.

Do for others as they would do for you.

  1. If you finish the Franzia, do not put it back in the fridge empty.

This needs no explanation. You know you shouldn’t do it with milk, therefore you definitely shouldn’t do it with Franzia.

  1. If your S.O. has basically moved in, consider an update to the lease agreement.

Be respectful of your single Franz!   

  1. Don’t ever put your roommate in a state of FOMO

If you’re going out, invite your roommate. Do not ever, knowingly put your roommate in a state of FOMO. Give them every opportunity to join in the fun.

  1. This is a drama free zone, thanks.

Please avoid drama at all costs. Just keep it out of your roomie relationship.

  1. Communal goods are a shared cost. No ifs, ands, or buts.

Just as you split rent and utilities, split the cost of toilet paper, sponges, soap, etc.

  1. If they order unbuilt furniture, give them a helping hand.

Even if it’s just bringing them a little Franz or staring confusedly at the 45 pages of instructions that lie ahead, your presence will be comforting as they work through the world’s most time-consuming puzzle.